Lincoln even took Barney outside to play hide and seek in the snow. It was the first snow of the year, and Lincoln was excited. Barney, not so much. All he did was whine about how he wanted to go out and party and drink some shots.
Evidently Barney got a bit of cabin fever, and decided it was time to start drinking, even though it wasn’t even 12:00 p.m. He said, “Well, it’s noon somewhere, so let’s start the party!”
So, we got tired of the complaining and brought him in to warm up. Wouldn’t you know, we left him alone for a second, and he had already raided the Patron and made himself a margarita. Not to mention the straight shots and the beers. Sheesh.
You know, it was all fun and games until my perfect little angel dog was involved. Were it not for the horrible influence of the purple one, I’m certain that Lincoln would still be amongst the innocent. As it turns out, though, Lincoln seems to be a “pleaser” who succumbs easily to purple peer pressure. Sad, but true, I’m sorry to say.
Now let’s be clear: We enjoy adult beverages around here. Why else would there be Patron at our bar, right? Not to mention the red wine that I drink on a regular basis (purely for health reasons, of course). I’m just sayin’…we’re not teetotalers. At all. But we do not drink and drive. It’s not just frowned upon, it’s dangerous. Little did we know that the purple bugger was going to jump behind the wheel of my car, throw my dog in the back seat, and take off. As soon as that happened, we knew nothing good could come of it. Sure enough, whoop, whoop…that’s the sound of the police.
Before we could shake a purple dinosaur tail, somebody was in custody. As you’ll see from the photo journal, it did not go well for Barney. Rumor has it he was insulting, insolent, recalcitrant, and full on non-compliant.
Just when it looked like Barney might spend the night in jail, somebody bailed him out. We suspect our beloved yet gullible three-legged red had something to do with it. Rumor is that his heartfelt plea did not fall on deaf ears, and all of his many doctors chipped in to help him out in his time of need. They can obviously afford it.
Wouldn’t you know it though, Mr. Purple decided he had enough of it here. I told him that he was not free to leave because he was under the conditions of the court, and that if he absconded, he would not only be in violation of that but he would also be a BAIL JUMPER. He didn’t seem to care that the doctors would lose their money (oddly, that may be the one thing we agreed on during his entire stay), and yelled, “I’m outta here, Lincoln. Stay outta trouble!!”
Sadly, Lincoln had a hard time saying goodbye and tried to follow him as he headed down the road. Alas, the purple one had to walk that road alone, as Lincoln, the three-legged red couldn’t make the journey.
This whole unfortunate incident reminds me of this saying I heard once…”There is plenty of law at the end of a nightstick. ~Grover Whalen
LMAO. FINALLY – The truths about that ebil Barney is out!! If anybody deserves to do a little hard times in sol’tary it’s him. Lincoln, what were you thinkins bailin that bad dude out??? I say you shoulds have left him to rot.
Stay outs of CA, purpleman. You been warned.
~Hurricane Rosie
🙂 Barney is apparently a KRS One fan! And now he’s on the run…
Buuwwwaaaaaaaahaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
my work, who knew he was such a delinquent…so sad to see at such a young age….
Lnicoln, Lincoln Lincoln! I certainly hope that you listen to your friends and dont follow after Barney and his seeming life of glamour. It can only lead to heartache and loneliness! Im so surprised as it is that you bailed the little purple devil out. But then to try to follow him as he made his escape. Im just saddened by it! Just dont forget that saying by Grover Whalen – Lincoln – we dont want you finding law at the end of that night stick!
Oh, Lincoln! We were sure you would do Barney in, and he almost got the best of you!!!
We’re glad you had fun with him… and stories to last 100 years!
Hugs,
Holly, Zuzu and Susan
OH Barney, you brazen little purple dude! Now you’ll have a record and you’ll NEVER be able to cross the border again. He was a rather snooty teetotaller during his stay here! And verbally abusive? Good god, what has happened to him?! 🙂
Where oh where WILL that long and winding road take him next?! That last photo is so melancholy all I started singing, “Along again, naturally.” 🙂
(THANK YOU for the great read!!!)
P.S. I obviously not only can’t sing; I can’t type either.
Funniest thing ever!!! Barney did time! Guess his DUI is going on his permanent record. And its probably going to be difficult for him to even get a license at this point…
Great pictures, hilarious story, looking forward to finding out where you sent Barney!
-Chloe’s mom
First, let me make it clear that driving while under the influence is just wrong even for a purple dinosaur. But, if you must find yourself at the end of a night stick you could do a lot worse than the little purple dude did here. I’m just saying, not what I remember from my teen years 🙂 No doubt Barney needs to learn some manners, but our friend Lincoln obviously needs to tie one on from time to time….please keep it at home Lincoln!!! We love you and don’t want anything to happen to you.
Great story and photos. One of the best Barney episodes yet. Thanks Lincoln and Lincoln’s Mom.
Brett and Fortis
First off, Give Officer Blondie a MEDAL! She’s my hero! She beat Barney! WOOOHOO! Police Barney brutality – I LUV IT!
It would have only been better if there was a “shootout” at the end and Barney would be dead! But on the other paw, he is a fugitive now and the men/women in blue will help the Tripawd family gun him down!
I will happily be awaiting his “Wanted DEAD not Alive” poster! Now we have his stuffing prints on file, too!
Lincoln stinkypants. Tsk. tsk. tsk. I don’t know what to say? What were you thinking to get in the car? Can you plead “party trick head”? I think you are stinky but I don’t want you to get into trouble with the law! You are a typical lawyer’s dog…get into trouble and let your lawyer pawrent get you out of it!
Well, at least you didn’t follow Barney.
Run Barney, run! But we’ll find you!
Cool Cat Comet
Lincoln, I can’t believe you gave in to purple peer pressure. How could you?
Little did I know the day Mom and Dad brought that purple dinosaur home to meet me, would he turn into such a lawbreaking maniac, causing disturbances from Alaska to Florida.
This world is not safe, until Barney is stopped!
Mom says that is hilarious!
I can’t believe you threw me over for a bad influence like Barney! (seriously, you should’ve called me, I have never had margaritas. Mom says it is only for those who are at least 21 in people years. I have always wanted to try it, mom looks so happy once she has a couple…)
Lincoln buddy, the dude is no good. I still have my tennis ball, if you want we can hang out, look at the chicks, and toss it around a little. You don’t need him man, it looks like he got what he deserved from that cop. I hope she knocked some sense into him…
Sammy
OMG – that was hilarious!! I’m still laughing over the antics and influence of that purple dino, not to mention that DUI bust!! Love that wrap sheet. How he could get into so much trouble….and dragging poor Lincoln into it all. Poor poor Lincoln, just trying to be a friend. And yet again, our purple dino nemesis lives on. Just when you thought he was done, over, fini….I guess the saga continues. I’ll keep holding my breath that this nightmare ends soon….very soon……
Oh my! What a degenerate! And to make things worse, he tried to take our favorite super hero down with him! My Daddy says that he may be a criminal defense attorney who has successfully defended lots of DUI cases, but he wants it known in the Tripawd world that if a certain purple peretrator tries to engage his services, there is not a retainer big enough in the whole world that would make him take Barney’s case. Let’s hope they track him down and he gets the Tazer!
Ginger
THAT was hilarious. What a story you always tell…and it’s nice to finish laughing instead of being in tears.
My brother Charlie, the world’s most handsome Cocker Spaniel, also did time in the county hooscow. He has a bit of a ‘tude since the chauffeur bailed him out.
I thought Barney was raised better than that? Drinkin likker, fast cars, a bit of a mouth and a few stitches, the chauffeur said to tell Barnie, “I feel your pain” and trying to lure sweet, innocent Lincoln into a life of debauchery… Get a rope!
Tell that purple dude if he comes carousing around my sweet Petite Princess, there’s gonna be trouble. Don’t need none of that foolishness, I don’t care how many TV shows you’ve had. By the way, what have you done lately? Who pays for your trips here, there and everywhere? You ain’t one of them Monkeybutt’s are you?
I’m with Rosie, swing wide around California, don’t even think of coming round here.
I gotta load my shotgun…In case he shows up.
Merry Christmas everyone! The chauffeur
Barney got off easy! Can’t you imagine how that would have gone down if a K-9 officer was on hand? Nobody would have gotten away with any pictures that’s for sure. (The K-9 would have pulled a Bernie Bin Laden on that camera, I betcha). And I knew there was a reason I didn’t let Barney talk me into the Great Dane Pub (besides how embarrassing it would have been). Lincoln’s learned his lesson now, right? Don’t be an enabler : )
Really glad I didn’t miss this! Almost did.